I love...

You, for reading my ramblings.
I love comments, seems really geeky but it's kind of nice to know that someone somewhere is reading my inside voice and not judging me. It's especially nice at the moment because things which the boy are pretty ropey. I feel like lately there's been this big wall between us. We hang out all the time but we don't know lots of the little details of each others lives like we used to. I think this is partly just because we both have exams and are stressed but I worry that it's something more. Last month we had a huge fight and went 'on a break', after that we talked about most things and it was better. The main thing he was upset about was me not telling him when I self-harmed or had a cigarette. He felt like I was lying to him. Which I do understand on some level, but also, the self-harm, it's not like I want to cut myself. Same with purging. Just, when I'm low I obsess about it and resist for so long and then I just can't hold back any longer and I loose myself...

Sunset at 3pm

Went to see Harry Potter last night with said boy. It was a really good film. I over did it a bit with the chocolate coins but that's okay. I just need to learn some self control. Say no first, then I don't want more. We went to Nandos for dinner first. I haven't actually been in the UK before. I find it strange how they are like a fastfood place that serves food on plates. I had a Mediterranean Salad with some chicken. It was drenched in oil but quite yummy. My calorie intake yesterday was probably around 900-1000 (because I had 2 lunches as well, greedy cow). Net was only around 200 though so I'm trying to stay positive. The scale was kind this morning convincing me not to fast. I've just had my cereal, I'll have a salad for lunch with chicken and egg white and then my left over veggie curry for dinner with a bit of brown rice.

Right now I really need to get on with studying. I'm going to make a cup of green tea and then go join my flat mate in our freezing living room with our books.

Love