Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
~ Derek Walcott
Is there such a thing
as happiness?
I look around me,
and all I see is pain.
Can we be,
for more than just a moment,
free?
Free to smile,
and free to breathe;
free to please,
and free to leave?
Must we live
all our life,
indebted to another?
Is there such a thing
as happiness,
as joy for you an me?
But shattered pieces
is all we have,
no joy, no faith
no hope
Is hope for tomorrow,
the next hour,
minute,
the same as hope for
a peaceful life?
If I have faith I can get through tomorrow,
will the next not be so bad?
One is quick to count the ways one loathes this self, pick out the flaws, the imperfections, the failings; but do you every stop to think of yourself as "the stranger who has loved you all your life"? I am definitely a stranger to myself. He knew me better than I know myself, but what use is that? Greet yourself, date yourself! (in a non-creepy fashion of course...)
Oh loves. How can I believe that I love someone so dearly when I cannot show myself that same love? Does it negate the outward emotion? Is it valueless without self-love? I have so many questions. I just wish there were answers.
"How can I believe that I love someone so dearly when I cannot show myself that same love?"
ReplyDeleteI have been asking myself that same question lately. And also, I sometimes find myself not loving others like I should and I wonder... can loving others help us love ourselves? Or do we have to love ourselves before we can love others?
I wish I knew.
If you can't find it within yourself, just run on faith. If you can show love to others (you're a sweet soul and I know you can) then do so. You'll find that love returned and with every kind word or deed you'll realize you're worthy. This I believe is the first step in finding self-love. We may not always see something in ourselves but when we hear it from others it has a way of sinking in.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you haven't been told lately Heather, you're wonderful.
xo
Yeepers, those are brain-bending questions! You can find your own answers in time. Try picking ONE thing you like about yourself each day and loving it for 5mins. That might help :)
ReplyDeleteI live for those moments of happiness. They are like candles to hold against the darkness when it swamps you.
I'm not going to ask for extensions. People don't get just how close to him I was, and trying to explain makes me look like an attentions-seeking brat. Gonna drink an assload of energy drinks and put my nose to the grindstone :/
The initial wordvomit (THANKYOU for the advice :D Some gems came out!) is being pruned and trained. 1,400 words to go and this one is done. (about 400 of that is going to be conclusion&rest of intro. Muahahaa!)
You are awesome Heather. Sending a ton of hugs and warm-sleepy Dralion cuddles and good thoughts your way.
Arohanui <3
"Love between two people can last a long time if the people love themselves some, and are ready to give love to another person."
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the wise think too much, they forget how wonderful it is too feel! Is it possible you think too much, Heather? Go to the spa, and pamper yourself! Go to the mall, and shop til you drop.. Read a book, smile at yourself in the mirror, laugh some, cry some, sleep for 24hours, take long sips of margarita.. oh there's so much you can do to love yourself!
Only when you love yourself can you truly give some of that love to another!
And don't forget, when you love, give it your 40% lovin' so that if you ever get hurt, if you ever get abandoned, the other 60% is still alive, kicking, and ready for yet another love! (;
and happiness? only when you know how to love and be loved can you truly be happy.. *wink*
live.laugh.love.((:
I'm with Peri all the way! Happiness is fleeting. We can but live from moment to moment. Once the moment has passed, let it go so that the next one can come. It's sad, but beautiful, too, just like life.
ReplyDeleteWe are all only responsible for ourselves and placing our happiness in the hands of others is no way to live. A relationship is stronger if we can learn to love ourselves first, but it takes time and work. I agree, pick one thing and go from there. You're so worth it, Heather!
WE hold the keys to the locks that bind us. Only WE can set ourselves free.
This song is a good reminder of that. I love it.
http://www.myspace.com/officialjimwhite/music/songs/jailbird-19173639
For the lyrics, go here:
http://www.lyricstime.com/jim-white-jailbird-lyrics.html
Hope you feel better soon. All my love. <3. XXX.
You inspire me, and make me ponder.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, there is happiness. Perhaps, it can be found in every thing, depending on the thoughts that fill one's mind.
LOVE!
I find myself doing the same type of thing...
ReplyDeletePeople all around me, whispering that I must first love myself before foolishly giving my heart away to others. But, what if I don't? Surely I still love people with all my might, mind, and strength...
But why can't I feel it for myself?
I believe someday we will find it. We will find happiness in the cool breezes of the fall, and the warm sunset that silently awakens our souls. Happiness is there, and so is love. Self-love will come someday. It's just a very long process. I hope you find it soon.
Don't give up now, my dear.
You're far too beautiful for that.
Your words are lovely, as are you. <3
xx