So, I should be writing 500 words about Marx. I'd like to say he got me thinking, but really my brains not up for thinking. Instead I have a few minutes to write a few words and hopefully find some thoughts in the jumble of my mind before I replace my mask and go to play netball.
Firstly, thank you all for your loving comments on my last post.
Classes started on Monday and I immediately found myself completely overwhelmed by them. I thought about how I would usually go to Andrew and how I can't do that anymore.
I'm so confused. So sad. So lonely.
I don't know how to write anything that makes sense.
My brain is just so full of emptiness.
So I fill it with short lived endorphins.
I fill it with plans, lists, numbers.
I calculate and categorize in an effort to free myself from this abyss.
But I'm still trapped.
My face aches with tears I cannot cry.
My soul weeps with feelings I don't know how to express.
My stomach rumbles with empty sympathy.
good luck with the start of classes, and i hope you find something to fill your heart, brain, and soul.
ReplyDeletemuch love. <3
Oh hun I'm sorry you are going through this, feeling lonely is so horrid. I so hope you can get free for the abyss. I find that having friends round (even though I don't tend to feel like seeing anyone) really helps.
ReplyDeletexxx
<3 youll get over this. maybe not soon, maybe not easily, but eventually, you will. youll be alright <3
ReplyDeleteUgh, a serious essay, god forbid! I can waffle on for hours about absolute rubbish, but I'm no good at serious topics. I bid you good luck, brave Scottish Soldier!
ReplyDeleteI love your wallpaper, it really appeals to my alter ego, Psycho-Delia! Ha!
I'm sorry to hear you've been so sad, love. Hope you feel better soon. Big hug! X.