Who knows the laws of silence.

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted.


I'm drowning in the darkness.
Tired of treading water.
It's so much effort just to keep on breathing.
I feel so alone because I don't think anyone gets how hard it is.
I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm

really sad and have mental friends.

Why is my life so cold and sad again?

I would like a yellow coat. It might make me happier. It is from Next. If you are felling rich you should buy me it.
I only have one drug left.
I have an appointment in 5 days.
I have not taken my drugs for that many days before, but I feel silly not eating them then visiting doctoret.
Options: a) Go at 9am tomorrow b) Get over it

Lord, open our eyes to your presence in creation.

"Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my
heart’s going to cave in."
AMERICAN BEAUTY
DreamWorks, 1999

I am watching Madeline.
I would like ice cream too.
Apparently I was meant to go to the doctors this morning, I forgot.
I have not enough drugs for some days.
I also did not go to mental outreach class.
It is ridiculous.

You should not judge people too quickly, even if you understand them quickly.

I cannot think and write at the same time.
I will continue later.

Jesus?

I forgot him from my last post.
Truth is he wasn't there in an obvious way until I think about the people and the connections.
Through them he spoke to me undoubtedly.
I have more images I would like to share than words, but I have not my camera to capture them or my own laptop to upload them from so I feel slightly trapped by this.
Tomorrow Sarah is leaving.
Today it is grey and miserable.
Yesterday I felt alone.
Today I woke up and smiled.
I feel like there are lots of changes coming soon,
people leaving, days getting darker, new people arriving, new uni year...
But I also feel like none of these scare me anymore.
This is the start, of what will be a long and difficult journey. I am not alone in my travels. He is walking with me. It's time to get started.

Feild of Dreams

Prayer
Reflection
Challenge
Release
Tears
Dialogue
Spirituality
Dragons
Freedom
Singing
Joy
Suffering
Craig
Identity
Abba
Craving
Love
Journey
Inter-faith
Goodbyes
Mission
Leap
Dance
Poverty
Massage
Space
Silence
Power
Writing
Soul Bird
Compassion
Trapped

Overwhelming Peace, Happiness, Heather.