I love you all.

I love you all too darn much to not be here anymore.

I have been reading your blogs, hungrily pouring over your pages of beauty, finding pieces of you that fill the gaps in me.
Longing for more. Longing to comment. Longing to post.

I scared, but it's a rush.
The thrill that maybe I'll get caught.
Knowing he could look for it again.
Do I want him to?
No.
It's not about that.
It's about me. Me me me.


And yet my fingers tremble.
Nervously pressing the keys.
Their clicking magnified in the the silence.
Each sound a thousand worries. Each tap a rebellion.
I'm fighting.
I'm going to come out stronger. Just you wait and see.

I'm taking it easy, bright and breezy.
I'm living it up, just fine and dandy.
And it really doesn't matter if I never eat.
It really doesn't matter if I never sleep.
When tomorrow comes, I'll do it all again.